The five best streaming shows you’re missing this summer.

In an age of information overload and clutter, perhaps the most important news we can receive is that a Netflix show is blowing up and we need to watch it or our peer groups will cast us out. When this divine offering comes our way, we can only pray that a score from Rotten Tomatoes is attached because Rotten Tomatoes is a thing that tells us if something is good or not. In the spirit of informing the public about critical entertainment options, the Intergalactic Business Report lets you in on five streaming programs you haven’t been watching and haven’t ever seen but should before this summer is over. 
 
 
Science Fiction

Thermometer 6.
 
Thermometer 6 is an interstellar spacecraft that begins to malfunction as it cruises deeper into space. The crew panics when they find out their space vessel is actually a huge thermometer that is taking the temperature of something’s butt.  When the readings come back as normal, will they be able to go home and tell space command that the space butt is fine? Or will their ship break off somewhere in the butt tunnel and spread mercury poisoning because there’s mercury in thermometers? Or is it that thermometers used to have mercury in them but don’t have it now? In any case, they need to get out of that butt. 
 
 
Rom Com

Love and money.
 
Austin and Mary are twenty-something best friends living it up in NYC until they simultaneously break up with their partners on the same night and drunkenly hook up with each other. When they find out that Japanese businessmen have found their way into their chic loft and have been watching them pork all night long, they learn that having sex in front of other people for money may be the best financial decision they’ve ever made. Also, Austin is a financial advisor, so he can confirm that. 
 
 
Documentary
 
Fitting in and partying on: the Argony Cult.
 
Cults are no fun, right? Wrong. At the wacky Argony Compound anything goes, including drinking, drugs, and all-night dance parties. The catch? You can’t have sex with the cult leader, even though he’s super desirable and has an engaging personality that makes you think you’ve known him your whole life and you want to connect. Maybe he’s just shy? One thing’s for sure, he definitely will NOT fuck you and that kind of sucks. Well, back to the party, I guess. Maybe they’ll try to take all your money at least. No? Is this even a cult? Watch and find out. 
 
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Action

Special forces special agent special assignment.
 
What happens when you are in the special forces of the most special agency and on special assignment? You kill people. Because that’s what you’ve been trained to do. And all the dumb motherfuckers who challenge you don’t have your special training so they just get fucked by your special skills and you walk around after you killed their ass like it’s no big deal because you don’t have emotions when it comes to that shit because of your training. 
 
 
Drama

Brett’s Secret. 
 
When big pharma salesman of the month Brett Luce discovers that his parents hid his IQ results from him and he is technically a special needs adult, he ups his game and becomes salesman of the year and enjoys multiple short term relationships with women who are willing to see the merits of his Porsche instead of his mind. A feel-good story for anyone who’s ever felt secretly mentally slow. 
 
 
Reality

​Ink Fucker Island. 
 
Eight tattooed people are matched by their ink sleeves and have sex with each other. Will they be satisfied, or will they choose to also have sex with other tattooed people on the island? Things get crazy when a new boat of inked galivanters arrive to try to seduce the undecided contestants. Will true love be found, or will they just all fuck each other?Get ready for an inky, stinky ride! (Spoiler: they all fuck each other). 

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