 Office parlance allows for a million clichés, most of them innocuous and overlooked. But when you convey negativity, even subtly, you're giving off vibes that may cause co-workers and bosses to see you as not ready for promotion.
We took the 13 most common phrases used at work and tell you why they may be affecting your reputation. “That’s not my job.” Lack of ownership. “I’ll do my best.” Hidden uncertainty. “That’s not fair.” Professional immaturity. “I’ll bet you can’t fit THAT in my butt.” Unclear request. Call out a specific object or appendage. “I need more vacation time.” Lack of interest in your job. “I’m overwhelmed.” Weakness in accomplishing multiple tasks. “How about taking that and seeing if it will fit in my butt?” Uncertainty about your butt capacity. “Thank god it’s Friday.” Lack of enthusiasm for the workplace. “I’m hard for this meeting.” Good enthusiasm, bad for sexual harassment. “If we implement this idea, I want to be first in line at its gangbang.” Unwillingness to share. “I have no room left in my butt for that idea.” Lack of room for new ideas. “Nice snatches, everyone.” Ignoring male employees’ penises. “I just shit in Dora’s filing cabinet.” Dora doesn’t have a filing cabinet.  Betting on rickshaw racing is illegal. Financial experts warn about “hidden costs” that underly our daily spending. A cup of Starbucks per day can cost you thousands a year and carryout food will drain your savings. But what about the other spending habits you have—the ones we all consider imperative to survival and happiness?
The Intergalactic Business Report goes behind your money wall to reveal the seemingly commonsense expenses that could cost you tens of thousands (or more) over your lifetime, year, or week. The dumbest things you spend your money on each year (and how much they cost). Weekend trips at pricey hotels and resorts. Weekend trips seem easy and cheap because we tell ourselves we can’t spend too much money over a few days. That’s true—to an extent. The average getaway to Las Vegas could run around two thousand dollars, not including gambling. Take a couple trips like this in a year, and things begin to add up. COST PER YEAR: $10,000. Teaching prostitutes to read. What started as a charitable act in which you paid a lady of the night for her time and spent it teaching her to be literate, has grown into a weekly event costing you hundreds. What’s worse is that you're beginning to wonder if these women actually can read and are just faking it for your cash. COST PER YEAR: $14,500. Buying collector watches and putting them in your butt. It seems harmless. Buy a couple really nice time pieces that will increase in value, and that you can pass on to your grandkids. Then take them and shove them into your butt. What you don’t know is that at least 40% of watches that go inside someone’s butt either never return or are damaged by other things in your butt and are unusable afterwards. To make matters worse, watch collectors and dealers say they don’t want to buy watches that have been in other people’s butts. COST PER YEAR: $60,000. Betting on illegal rickshaw races is both against the law and hard-to-put-your-finger-on-it-but-it’s-gotta-be-racist. It’s also costing you upwards of $75k a year. COST PER YEAR: $75,000. Paying your “friend” to genetically engineer squirrels to steal things and spy on people. We’ve all done this one, at least once, and it can become one of the most costly expenses of our lives. Dr. Finneas Randall, who moved in next door about a year ago, seems like a very smart man, and he brings you gifts, like a trained spider that finds and brings you cigarettes people haven’t smoked all the way. But you have to wonder if 1.) he is an actual doctor, and 2.) if he’s actually “genetically engineering” those squirrels or just putting them in cages and pretending he did something to them. Either way, you’re out a hundred and fifty grand and the squirrel spies have brought you intel anyone could have and they stole twenty bucks from a homeless man, which is, yup, it’s monopoly money. COST PER YEAR: $150,000. Multiple penis strength coaches. Most of us have one penis strength coach, but the temptation is always there to hire multiple experts to build your dick into a champion. Do you really need a team of coaches for one penis? Stick with one to get the job done (unless you want to keep shelling out $187,000 a year). COST PER YEAR: $187,000. Hiring professional actors to recreate scenes from Goodfellas and Casino where you’re Joe Pesci. Yes, this is totally worth it the first time you do it. And yes, as soon as you do it once, you feel like doing it again, kind of like hitting a crack pipe. But hiring, and sometimes housing, an entire acting troupe so that you can “be” a fictional (?) Joe Pesci character is so costly that it breaks the bank. Instead of pricey actors, try getting non-paid friends to play along or simply find confrontational situations in which you can threaten people at grocery stores and car washes. COST PER YEAR: $483,000. TOTAL COST PER YEAR: $979,000*. * How much money do you make, anyway? Jesus. Like what do you spend on food and stuff? Are you rich? If so, we guess this stuff is all fine because, why not? Do you want to hang sometime? In Vegas or something? You sound really interesting. Let us know.  Painting (or whatever this guy is doing) didn't make either category. Collecting baseball cards was fun when you were ten, but now that you’re older, it definitely isn’t going to get you girls. As men age, a bright and critical light shines on them—by women deciding whether you are good enough to mate with. Does that sound cold, clinical, and maybe even a bit ruthless? Don’t take our word for it*.
We asked heterosexual women what male hobbies turn them on and off most. The results? Many common side passions are red flags while more unusual pursuits are panty droppers. If you’re a regular guy who wants to up his game, take notice of what you do for fun and whether it’s making her hot or making you not. We list the most and the least below: Most attractive male hobbies, according to women:
Least attractive male hobbies, according to women:
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