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Slavery was bad--really bad—and that’s why the United Nations issued a resolution to name the transatlantic slave trade as the number one worst crime against humanity. While it’s not hard to agree with this declaration, some questioned why other atrocities weren’t ranked higher or didn’t even make the list.
We expect the UN will have annual awards in the future so that other atrocities can be considered and improve their positions based on cultural trends and updates to historical contexts. In the meanwhile, we take a look at this year’s winners as well as also rans. Worst crime against humanity final rankings (2026) 1. Transatlantic slave trade. Congratulations. You earned it. 2. The Holocaust. Perennial contender "the Holocaust" did not win, but considering this year's strong competition, it’s an honor just to be nominated. 3. The Killing fields. Pol Pot would be proud he had a top five finish and if the award were based on sheer speed of atrocity, he would have certainly finished higher. 4. The Great Terror. Stalin’s purges and forced famines killed and imprisoned a bunch, but they just didn’t have the gravitas of other crimes against humanity. 5. The Mongol Horde. Critics of the final rankings contend that Genghis Khan would have won if he had committed his atrocities closer to present time, but the fact that he’s still remembered is a testament to his staying power as an atrocity committer. (Many ghosts from the “horde” are surely saying, “Give us some credit too, 'cause we did most of the work.” Noted, barbarian killers. Noted). 6. Native American displacement and genocide. Smallpox infected blankets and broken deals that diminished and killed native populations over hundreds of years was a powerful entry into this year’s atrocity awards. Winning, however, was merely a pipe dream. 7. The Cultural Revolution. Nice try, Mao, but your sorry attempt to kill and destroy an entire culture only came in seven on the UN list. Maybe try harder next time! Oops. You’re already dead, so we guess not! 8. The Great Leap Forward. The ironic title wins points for doing the opposite of what it proclaims, and the amount of death and suffering is great enough to solidify its place on this list. But it’s just not the holocaust or the transatlantic slave trade, is it? 9. Bataan Death March. Marching a bunch of people to their death was one of the most original atrocities considered this year, but the sheer number of victims makes this one a bottom lister. 10. The Firebombing of Dresden. Like the death march, the scope of this mass killing only involved one metro area (and nowhere near the carnage of atrocity list hopefuls Hiroshima and Nagasaki) but it did inspire the literary masterpiece “Slaughterhouse 5.” So there’s that. What didn’t make the list: 1. Your refusal to appropriately punish your son, Nicholas, after he clearly mocked and made fun of his brother on a 2014 road trip. This one was brutal, especially if you consider Jeremy’s position as a mercilessly teased sibling whose only hope for justice was you. Still, it’s not as bad as the slave trade or any of the other contenders for this year. Sorry, little man. 2. Chris Pratt voicing Mario in the Super Mario Brothers Movie. 3. Whatever you call what you were doing at prom. What the fuck were you doing? We have no words. 4. The Nacho Cheese Doritos Loco Taco at Taco Bell. We believe this one was overlooked unjustly and feel strongly it should replace either the Mongol Horde or the Death March. 5. The Super Bowl Shuffle. 6. White Castle Crave Cases. 7. Your mom when she wore that dress two sizes too small to the grocery store. Although Kroger patrons may disagree, this one doesn’t quite make the cut on a global level. 8. (Tie) Tom Hanks in “Polar Express.” 8. (Tie) Tom Hanks in “Bosum Buddies.” 10. Michael Jackson leaving Corey Feldman to die on 9/11. Perhaps the most underappreciated crime against humanity in which Feldman was almost lost to the world. |
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May 2026
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