11 internet purchases you should never make.

For years, conventional wisdom told us that if it’s on the internet, it’s also safe to buy with a credit card*. Unfortunately, what was once a sacred space for virtual commerce has quickly become a wasteland of trickery and deceit. Each purchase is a gamble. Every time you use your credit card could be your last. Often, your very life depends on what transactions you make. Today, the Intergalactic Business Report flags commonly bought items on the internet that are fraught with peril. While they may seem safe, they are either fraudulent or could pose a danger to you and your family.
 
While there are many others, we list the worst offenders. Do NOT buy the following things on the internet:
 
1. Filipino dynamite or anything from the Philippines that says, “body expanding mouth juice.” 

2. Big Earl’s lawn sex figurines.  

3. Funny War Machine bridge detonators 

4. Any of the following brands: Serpentine Anal Snakes, Borsch City Contraband, AK-47 extras, Lesbian Military Shooter Club, or My Favorite Illegals.  

5. Equine pheromones. 

6. Permanent body sticky butt tape. 

7. Operation Jungle Storm Orangutan sex videos. 

8. “Real life dead people anime.” 

9. Asian Farms rare insect collection.  

10. Authentic German nutcrackers with hanging testicles. 

11. “Crate full-o runaways.” 

*Or not. 

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