Beware these job postings red flags.

In a job search, we gravitate toward open positions by title, salary, and location. But if you don’t understand the fine print, you may be missing the full story about office culture, expectations, and the little things that could make work there unbearable. 
 
Even when a job description seems a perfect fit, there can be subtle clues and red flags only seen when you dig deeper. We asked our human resources experts* at the Intergalactic Business Report to weigh in on what to watch out for before you apply. Some of their answers may surprise you.
 
If you see these red flags in a job posting…run. 
 
1. “Fast-paced environment.” This could mean a lot of things, but most likely it describes a frenetic, undisciplined culture where work-life balance is ignored.  

2. Anything that says candidates must be “comfortable with being human trafficked or enslaved.” This phrase may seem innocuous but it’s actually telling you that if you take the job, you may be also required to be a sex slave. 

3. “Human sacrifice friendly office.” This does NOT mean that employees must make sacrifices for the team. Instead, your new employer may murder you or others to appease primitive demons or gods they serve without question.  

4. Watch out for requirements for how much you can fit in your butt or your butt “capacity.” Especially if your butt is smaller or can’t hold a lot.  

5. Any job description that states, “full erection required.”  

6. Be wary of posts that use language like: “Izz good job. You take it?” or “You do dis? Yes?” 
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7. A common error for job seekers is to respond to employers seeking “research subjects for realistic movie about serial killers. Must be comfortable with death and dying.”  

​8. Openly hostile advertisements that state things like, “Fuck you motherfucker,” and “You want this fucking job? Come and take it.” 
 
*Drunk people at a bar that also looks like a place where human sacrifices are performed. 

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