Eight things you should never reveal to your work colleagues (and why).

Work friends can be true friends. After all, we spend more time with them than with our own families. They know us well and we know them. But after a few post-work drinks, things can get personal—maybe too much so. How do you draw the line between what is colleague appropriate and what’s not? It’s simple. Just avoid saying the eight things below:
 
 
1. “I have a crush on you.”
“Officemances” can happen when you work together and reach an intense level of mutual respect. Sometimes, a “crush” can turn into a real relationship. Still, we recommend you keep your personal and business lives separate. 
 
2. “You know, there was a time when I’d probably suck all your dicks. Even yours, Marsha.”
When you reveal this kind of thing to co-workers, it can alienate them. Especially Marsha.
 
3. “I’m embezzling money from the company. There. I said it. Now you’re all accomplices.”
Legally, you haven’t actually implicated your colleagues in your scheme to steal money from your company. But if any of them tell on you then they are officially snitches and cannot be protected. 
 
4. “Under this table is my penis, free and hanging out, like a rope in the wind.”
There. You said it. 
 
5. “Can one of you spot me while I try auto erotic asphyxiation in the bathroom?”
While it’s important to have a spotter, you can easily do this on your own, with the help of a mannequin and a coat hanger.
 
6. “I killed someone. And I will kill any of you motherfuckers if you tell on me.”
Good job that you’ve threatened potential snitches (see above) but by revealing your crime you’ve essentially created a “snitch farm” in which snitches grow and you must stomp them out before they tell on you. Even if you’ve known them forever, like Gary, can you really be sure they won’t snitch? Can you afford to find out?
 
7. “I killed our boss.”
Why admit to this when it would have been much easier to pin it on Gary (who may be a snitch anyway)?
 
8. “I’m pretty sure I’m Jesus.”
This is one of those moments when you have to decide between putting yourself out there and building a crew of apostles or just shutting your mouth. Choose the latter. You’re god, or the son of god or whatever because you don’t really understand the bible, and you don’t need to prove anything to anyone. 

work inappropriate tees