IBR accused of openly mocking god. So lame of us. Sorry.

This is what blasphemy looks like.

Editor’s note: 
 
When our meme mocking the Valley’s Jax Taylor was seen by some readers as mocking God, the Intergalactic Business Report went into immediate damage control. We are disappointed by this reaction on many levels, but most piercing is that our satire has been exposed as so weak and derivative that we are doing that thing where we make fun of God and Christianity. 
 
We feel it important to let our readers know that the controversial meme was never intended to disparage their deity but rather to disparage Jax Taylor. We apologize to both deities and address some of the comments regarding them below:
 
One reader cautioned: “Sick! God is not mocked!!” We appreciate that only two exclamation points were used. 
 
Another told us: “Praying for repentance because one day every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.” We thank this reader, but the thing about tongues confessing sounds kind of porno. Which is cool, if that’s where you were going with that. 
 
We were also edified that “Jesus wasn’t a Caucasian…” Neither is Jax Taylor. 
 
If you haven’t seen the meme, don’t worry, you’re not alone, because our readership is like ten people, and nine of them click on us because they think we’re porn (see the thing above about tongues and confessions). 
 
Our meme depicted Jesus yelling at a disciple: “Dude, stop acting like you’re the fucking number one guy in this group, man. I’m the number one guy in this group.”
 
In our defense, Jesus was/is/will always be the number one guy in that group. Paul or John or whoever might try to ACT like they’re the number one guy, but they’re not. I think we all agree on that.
 
Also, in the actual group that inspired the Jesus scene, the three guys were Jax, Tom Schwartz, and Tom Sandoval. Our editors stand by the fact that Jax kind of is the number one guy in that group so his and Jesus’s assessments are valid and true.
 
Finally, until Jax Taylor goes to heaven and meets Jesus, it is safe to say that the title of “number one guy” is up for grabs, at least on Earth. Jax has every right to claim it, just as Jesus as a man did. Religious scholars may debate this, but ours have told us this is a totally o.k. thing to say. 
 
As Jesus reaches the status where you can’t have pictures of him or he’ll be mad, we will strive to censor and censure ourselves, as well as señor ourselves for our Mexican speaking friends. As stated previously, our intention is not to offend but rather to examine those things people hold dear and metaphorically anally assault those things and the people who hold them dear. If that is “offensive” we apologize again, almost as if we are Danny Darko and you are Jasmine.*
 
 
 
*From Bravo’s “The Valley.” They are other people/characters, like Jax Taylor. You get it. 

Mock yourself with these awful tees