Our 2025 year in review.

Before people started saying, “it is what it is” they said the much more colorful, but equally inane: “Shit happens.” They even made tee-shirts. 
 
When we think of the year 2025 at the Intergalactic Business Report, the phrase “Shit happens” is more relevant than ever. Not only is it an empty way to explain any occurrence or event, but it also suggests that whatever happened was shitty. And as we choose the IBR articles that sum up the year best, we find it almost impossible to find even one that doesn’t stink of fecal matter. 
 
But as we face criticism for spending year after year putting utter crap into news streams, social media, and the internet in general, we ask our critics if it’s we that should face judgment, or rather humanity itself. After all, you created us and we just react to the stuff you do, making us invulnerable to your attacks and disdain.
 
If you’ve never read the Intergalactic Business Report, you may think we are important enough to receive “judgment” and “criticism” and you would be wrong. On the contrary, we have found our readership consists mostly of Chinese bots and the rare real human we trick to read our articles because they are fooled into thinking they will receive actual advice, information, or solutions to their problems. We offer none of those. 
 
With that, we offer you our “Year in Review,” in which we started slow with simple dating advice and ended strong with a possible cure for Alzheimer’s. In between, we covered topics ranging from ways to get anything you want through manifestation to an exclusive about the first person to reach the singularity. We know, it’s heady stuff, and we get like zero credit for it. But whatever. 
 
We kept giving you steady, actionable business advice throughout the year with articles on how to write performance improvement plans and how to survive in a volatile economy. We exposed you to brutal career truths and gave you a business proposition you couldn’t turn down. Ever. We also made the greatest statement about the future of artificial intelligence. Ever. Then we recanted it. We gave ChatGPT one hundred dollars to see if it could make us rich. And we taught you how to email like a CEO. We also showed you how to prosper with the “new” LinkedIn and we told you about the most overlooked charities you should support. 
 
In our culture section, we found deleted scenes from your favorite movies, covered the Bachelor, and explained the ending of “the Handmaid’s Tale.” We also went bottle deep into “Drunk People Awareness” month, with articles about “the Valley’s” Danny Darko, and how drunk people are a minute away from getting minority status. 
 
We told you about travel tips and how bloodthirsty squirrels may be coming for you. We changed how you think about penis size and explained how you’re flushing your toilet wrong. We solved the loneliness epidemicand told you what never to do at a funeral home. We also gave you amazing health advice and featured a profound editorial by a man who talks loudly in airport lounges. 
 
What else? Oh yeah. We told you how you’re wasting your money and the least attractive male names on the planet. 
 
Our coverage of brands and advertising was again unparalleled as we explored everything from the Modelo Cowboy to Super Bowl commercials. And our advice on alternatives for Pickle Ball players is considered a masterpiece. Our “Secret Report” section told you about AI takeovers and parasites in your body. 
 
Of course there was much more and you missed it all. But that’s okay because shit happens. Just remember that in 2026 even more shit will take place and we will be here, writing about it. 
 
 
Very Sincerely,
 
 
Dusty Latouffe, Supreme Editor, the Intergalactic Business Report. 

Tee shirts that aren't for review.