 “Girls’ girl” entered the cultural lexicon as something every female needs to say about herself and other females she likes. Also, if you’re a woman and not a girls’ girl that’s bad. But what does it mean?
If the term “girls’ girl” confuses you, we have answers. This week, the Intergalactic Business Report interviews Trish O’Mahew, self-proclaimed girls’ girl and perhaps the human embodiment of Peppermint Patty, if she were a little slutty and was on her phone a lot. The partial transcript or our discussion follows: INTERVIEWER: Thanks for joining us, Trish. TRISH O’MAHEW: Of course. INTERVIEWER: You say you’re a “girls’ girl.” What exactly does that mean? TRISH O’MAHEW: I think it’s like you’re the kind of woman who supports other women, no matter what. Like you follow that code of sisterhood. INTERVIEWER: So, it doesn’t have to do with women having sex with each other? TRISH O’MAHEW: No. INTERVIEWER: Oh. TRISH O’MAHEW: (Laughing). You sound kind of disappointed! INTERVIEWER: Yeah, well. I mean, I was told something else so… TRISH O’MAHEW: What were you told? INTERVIEWER: That it was women with other women. TRISH O’MAHEW: I mean, I guess it could be, but the sex part has nothing to do with it. INTERVIEWER: Wait. You’re saying it could be about that? TRISH O’MAHEW: In the sense that two women could be together and they could be girls’ girls. INTERVIEWER: While they’re doing it? TRISH O’MAHEW: While they’re doing what? INTERVIEWER: Having sex with each other? TRISH O’MAHEW: I don’t think you’re understanding the concept. INTERVIEWER: Sorry. Can you explain again? TRISH O’MAHEW: Being a girls’ girl means you support other women and that you don’t sell them out, especially to men or for men. INTERVIEWER: Let me give you a scenario and you tell me if I’m getting this right. TRISH O’MAHEW: O.K. INTERVIEWER: There are two women. TRISH O’MAHEW: Uh huh… INTERVIEWER: And they meet at, let’s say, a tropical resort. They have some drinks at the bar and get to know each other. TRISH O’MAHEW: Yeah. All right. INTERVIEWER: One thing leads to another and they’re back at their room. They start kissing and taking off their clothes. TRISH O’MAHEW: I really think you don’t get this. INTERVIEWER: Hold on, just let me tell you the WHOLE scenario. TRISH O’MAHEW: O.K. Go ahead. INTERVIEWER: And there’s this guy, Brent, who they talked to before. And he’s in the closet, just watching. TRISH O’MAHEW: I’m going to say this one more time. This is not about sex. INTERVIEWER: Whether Brent participates is kind of a game time decision that they all make together. TRISH O’MAHEW: Is your name Brent? INTERVIEWER: I don’t think that’s relevant. TRISH O’MAHEW: I think you’re confusing “girl on girl” with “girls’ girl.” INTERVIEWER: Is that what it is? TRISH O’MAHEW: Yeah, I’m pretty sure. INTERVIEWER: Then what are we even talking about? TRISH O’MAHEW: Women who support each other. Non sexually. INTERVIEWER: Oh. TRISH O’MAHEW: Brent? INTERVIEWER: Yeah? TRISH O’MAHEW: You look kind of ill. Are you all right? INTERVIEWER: I don’t know. I feel weird. TRISH O’MAHEW: Maybe you should take a break. INTERVIEWER: I think I’m gonna be sick. TRISH O’MAHEW: (To someone else) Is he O.K.? INTERVIEWER: I’m sorry. That was unprofessional. TRISH O’MAHEW: It’s fine. INTERVIEWER: One more question. I’m going to get this back on track. TRISH O’MAHEW: Sure. INTERVIEWER: What’s a man’s man? TRISH O’MAHEW: It’s where two guys have sex with each other. INTERVIEWER: That’s what I thought. TRISH O’MAHEW: Are we done? INTERVIEWER: Yeah. I guess so.  If you enjoy Netflix’s Bridgerton, the makers of “Haaverstaad” hope you will come along for their similar if slightly darker ride about a fictional colonial plantation where gowns, balls, and social climbing are prevalent, but so is slavery.
Haaverstaad opens with a panoramic view of a colorful Caribbean town set somewhere in the 18th century, although dates and time periods are never discussed by the characters. The town, we soon learn, is a wealthy imperial outpost called Lindenloek. The series’ namesake is the plantation that lies a few miles from the town center, and it is owned by the Haaverstaad family, who are clearly the most favored and prosperous of all the landowners in the community. Like Bridgerton, Haaverstaad presents a kind of alternative history within the context of actual history. It also boasts a rich mix of races and sexes playing counter to their historical roles. One striking feature of the cast is that almost all “slaves” (though they are never referred to as such) are portrayed by white actors, while the upper class of the Haaverstaad world is a mix. What is perhaps most consistent about Haaverstaad is that the subject of slavery becomes a debate between the brutality of human bondage and the simplicity of social order and courtly graces. For example, Jeff, a slave who has served the plantation most of his life, is elevated to “Head of service,” a title that gives him honor and pride among his fellow underlings. For his promotion, dashing widower Lord Haaverstaad (played by African-Australian actor Russell Blingaard) holds a humble servants’ party for Jeff and then bestows upon him a small sack of gold. “But those of my station cannot have money,” Jeff replies. To which Haaverstaad tells him, “Keep it for another day, when perhaps you can.” When Jeff asks if this means he will someday gain his freedom, Haaverstaad tells him, “Perhaps. Who knows? Anything may happen in this mad mad world in which we live.” Jeff presses and asks for some clarity. What, exactly, does he mean? Haaverstaad, standing on the precipice between the stark societal rules of the day and what he wishes they were instead, can only say: “Do you desire the money or not?” To which Jeff, puzzled, says, “I suppose. But I cannot spend it.” Haaverstaad smiles glumly and pats him on the shoulder, knocking the bag and spilling out its contents. As we watch the pieces settle on the ground, we realize the gold is in fact not real at all, but merely painted rocks Haaverstaad has placed in a burlap sack. Jeff thanks him for the “gift” and moves on to celebrate with his peers. Haaverstaad continues his glumness and watches the event from his gilded, distant vantage. He’s a man torn between supporting the status quo and dreaming of a better world with less slavery. Maybe even no slavery. Meanwhile, Haaverstaad’s daughter Mildred (Ching Ping Lee) wishes to be a slave. She attends slave events, including Jeff’s “ball” and she is in love with Phil, a brooding field worker who picks up more girls than he does sugar cane. Mildred’s sisters (Justin Fleete and Sarah Tingesworth) try endlessly to persuade her to drop Phil and find an eligible suitor like wealthy merchant Miles Linderhoefer (Ashante Briggs), but she is as obdurate as she is in love. For Bridgerton fans, Haaverstaad has many of the creature comforts they may seek, including complicated balls and “coming out” parties, matchmaking intrigue, and people who lament that society makes them “better” than other people, but they can’t do anything about it, despite being the only ones in a position to do so. In season two, Phil and his friends decide to burn down an adjacent plantation and Jeff must decide whether he will inform on him to receive another promotion, this time to “Master Head Servant,” which comes with an actual bag of gold he cannot spend. This storyline is perhaps the most dramatic and intriguing, as Lord Haaverstaad must consider publicly executing a group of his slaves for sabotage and disobedience. Unfortunately, Mildred’s boyfriend is not only among them, but also their ringleader. We won’t spoil anything here, but let’s just say Lord Haaverstaad must ultimately do what society expects (despite his moral compunctions) and mete out slave plantation justice. On the other hand, there are many balls. And they each have their own “colonial plantation” flair, which differs from Bridgerton in that they feature a lot of rum drinks and plantains are often served. Also, the gowns are decidedly tropical. There are also a number of humorous incidents and misunderstandings that offer comic relief. For instance, High Lord Magistrate Fiinton, who controls the port and is the emissary to the Queen, forgets his pantaloons after having closet sex with the “Buggerer of Barbados” a recurring character who is part pirate, part nobleman, and is sometimes in the crown’s favor and at other times must hide in closets. While Haaverstaad often dances around the issue of human oppression, it also confronts it head on. After Jeff turns in his friends, Lord Haaverstaad puts the group of rebellious slaves to death in a manner that disgusts him, but which is also what society expects. Missing from the executions is Phil, whom the lord allowed to escape. But when Phil rallies slaves from other plantations to revolt, Haaverstaad reconsiders his kindness and leads a posse of non-slave farmhands and noblemen to hunt him down. When his daughter joins the rebel group, Lord Haaverstaad must choose between Mildred and what society expects of him—which is the brutal murder of those beneath him who don’t do what he wants—even though if he were, as he says, “in another world it would not be so.” Also, when High Lord Magistrate Fiinton forgets his pantaloons, he’s walking around the great hall with no pants on and everyone is looking at him as if to say, “Hey, what happened to your pants?” Spoiler alert: It’s hilarious. Then it’s back to dealing with the slaves, who are now gaining ground in the revolt. Lord Haaverstaad meets with the other plantation owners and one of them, Lord Bungsten (played by the wonderful Calvari Capreece), reveals he’s done the math, and the slaves outnumber them ten to one. When another landowner, Baron Muunster (Rohit Sandramuthra) asks why the slaves haven’t done this before and just wiped them all out, Lord Haaverstaad gives an impassioned speech about how he wishes society weren’t the way it was and that if only they had the power to change the order of things, it would be different. Season two ends with the slaves closing in on the plantations while a boat full of reinforcements is attempting to reach the harbor in time to restore the order of things. Season three is coming in December of 2026, but in the meanwhile, viewers can enjoy seasons one and two on major* streaming services. *Major is a term used to express not only an amount but also a magnitude. Subjectively, this can mean anywhere between zero and countless. |
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