The World Cup is bringing out the best from foreigners. We give you their impressions of the U.S.6/28/2026  Nothing makes Americans happier than seeing drunk foreigners eat barbecue and discover how low their standard of living is by comparison to us before they get on a plane and return to their god-forsaken countries. The 2026 World Cup, co-hosted by the U.S.A, is providing that feeling of superiority daily.
Some would say that starting World Cup coverage midway through the tournament is a sign of laziness, incompetence, or an undiagnosed venereal disease where your brain is affected and your decisions and actions are delayed. With this in mind, the Intergalactic Business Report boldly starts its 2026 World Cup coverage by highlighting some of the most poignant quotes from foreign visitors seeing America for the first time and posting stuff about it. Below we share our favorite quotes that soccer fans from all over the world posted about their first time experience in the United States. The most common quotes from foreigners visiting America for the 2026 World Cup. -Gisela (age 26) Obersheim, Germany. “I cannot believe how big zee portions of food are in America. I have eaten an entire bicycle yesterday—zee wheels and everything. Now der stomach is full.” -Bagwat (age 37) Gurjurat, India. “India has a very very shitty soccer team, so I am here for no reason.” -Sui (age 41) Okinawa, Japan. “Sushi in Amelikur much better zen in Japan. Portion so huge. Now I rill morest someone on your subway.” -Andrew (57) Glastonunder, Scotland. “Brrshba treshinfur! Gaze upon the portions! Methinks me’s flurbering agin!” -Bernadette (27) Lyon, France. “Mmm hmmm hmmm. I am Franch. Dee porzions are zo beeeg. I surrender to zem.” -Jeff (36) Bumbershot, Australia. “Crikey mate! Me and the lads found us an Outback Steakhouse and it’s just like home, but the portions are bigger.”  In episode eleven of Real Housewives of Rhode Island, cast member Liz McGraw and Real Housewives of New Jersey cast member Dolores Catania announced that (because of them?) Rhode Island has become the first state to mandate workplace accommodations for menopause, making menopausal women “a protected class.” They also created a marijuana gummy that somehow targets menopause?
As they met with state legislators, the women celebrated the new measure and wondered things like how many menopausal women had been forced into early retirement before the state had taken action. While menopause is not our area of expertise, the Intergalactic Business Report did research* to determine what this could mean for Rhode Island women who have reached the stage in their lives where they need special government protection. What we assume took place before the new law: -As noted above, when women began to experience menopause, a male superior would figure it out and demand they retire because that was a thing. -Without a targeted THC gummy, menopausal women were forced to just get very drunk, which would only mask their symptoms as opposed to making them so whacked out they started hearing things in Shania Twain songs. -Employers would casually ask older women if they liked the bathroom tampon machine and then carefully watch their reaction. -Women who suddenly became “violent” or “bitchy” or “insubordinate” were written up for “unprofessional behavior.” -Stabbing male employees whose faces drove menopausal women “nuts” was frowned upon. What it means for menopausal women now that they are a “protected class.” -They are allowed to control all office thermostats. -They may stab (see above) male co-workers. -In addition to sick days, personal days, and vacation days, they are now entitled to “days where they just aren’t feeling it” and these are unlimited. -Being high at work is now permitted so long as it is from a menopause gummy. -The grating Rhode Island accents are no longer considered the cause of headaches, irritation, and losing your fucking mind. *”Research” is a broad term that may include rigorous fact checking, in-depth reading, interviews, or making shit up. |
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