Whoops. Major correction to Ed Mountaineer’s last article.

Not even close to a real depiction of Ed Mountaineer.

Ed misunderstood how Monique Samuel’s “love letter” therapy works and he’s redone his work for a better grade. Read his statement below:
 
NOTE:  I guess I fucked up the whole “love letters” thing because I’m being told I wasn’t supposed to be writing love letters TO other versions of myself, but love letters FROM other versions of myself. Guess I should have actually read the book? Anyway… Let’s try this again. 
 

Love letter one (from my teenage self)
 
Dear nowadays Ed,
 
Hope you’re doing well. Right now, I’m whacking off. Hard. And that makes it difficult to write you a letter. I will try again when I’m not pounding my meat, but that will be a very narrow window, because I’m doing that constantly.
 
Ed.
 

Love letter two (from my college self)
 
‘Sup Ed? 
 
College is awesome and I’m getting paid and laid! Not! I am getting drunk though. And I’m making decisions that will absolutely fuck our life in the future. You know what they are so I won’t include them in this letter. 
 
Back to doing cocaine with turtles I found in the woods,
 
Ed.
 

Love letter three (from me ten years ago)
 
Dearest Ed,
 
I write to you during a time of great change in myself. I received your letter about Nvidia and I have invested everything I have in her. She is not only an excellent dancer, but I think I’m really starting to get along with her kids. The other day, one of them accidentally called me “dad” but then took it back and reminded me that I will never be his dad. I think that’s progress. Also, Nvidia’s ex has stopped trying to murder me, for now. I think it’s because he moved to Alaska to work on a fishing boat where he says he’ll make enough money to win her and his children back. Nvidia tells me it’s highly unlikely he’ll be able to do it, and I’m waiting to hear because he just called and she’s talking to him and she looks super excited and happy and yup, she’s moving back in with him. Why the fuck did you tell me to do this again?
 
Up your butt,
 
Ed.

tees that should be corrected