Hidden brand messages: Beer

Once again, our proprietary research brings you the hidden messages behind the world's most popular brands (as well as some that people don't really give a shit about). This week, we focus on beer.

Bud Light: Our beer sucks, so here’s a lame new catchphrase you can repeat to your lame friends.
 
Dos Equis: We’re not really Mexican, so here’s some weird shit to make you not think about that.
 
Heineken: If you’re a douche, you’re already drinking our beer and that’s good enough for us.
 
Coors Light: The only way you can drink this shit is if it’s so cold it doesn’t matter.
 
Old style: This is what you drink right before you kill yourself.
 
Corona: Mexicans don’t drink our beer but dickheads from 80’s beach movies do. 
 
Pabst Blue Ribbon: For 25-year-old assholes with beards.
 
Sam Adams: If we weren’t constantly telling you how great our beer is, you’d just drink it and say, “Yeah, this tastes like Miller Lite.”
 
Miller lite:  When you really just don’t give a shit about anything anymore, drink this.