We give Tanqueray and Ketel One a totally free ad campaign.

In a bold play to appeal to the own-brother-jerkoff market, mega distillery Diageo has co-branded with HBO Max’s “White Lotus” in a series of ads featuring Patrick Schwarzenegger, tending bar and drinking cocktails.  While the two liquors probably should never be mixed, Ketel One and Tanqueray are like two brothers jerking each other off. That’s an analogy. 

More committed to brotherly love than the city of Philadelphia, Diageo and White Lotus have put their hands on the throbbing new market of incest dudes, which is growing rapidly the more they touch it. We don’t usually do this, but, in a turn of corporate charity, the Intergalactic Business Report has mocked up a series of ads for the company to use free of charge. We feel these truly capture the essence of what you’re trying to say in a subtler tone that reaches your demographic in an elegant and sophisticated way. These are yours now. Take good care of them. You’re welcome. 

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Our merch won't jerk you off