8 things you should never wear on a plane according to travel experts.

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Travel experts are people who are experts at travel. They are good at...traveling. Their skills at being on an airplane are better than yours and they are able to eat at foreign restaurants in a way that is superior to the way you eat when you are in a foreign restaurant. They also have cool luggage (we’re guessing) and can get their bags before you do. Just a fantasy here, but we also picture them breezing through customs and having special cases for their passports that make you say, “Woah, is that what you hold your passport in?” Anyway, these experts have come out with a new list of what you should never wear on a plane. Read these carefully. You don’t want to be the guy wearing:
 
1. A shirt with racial epithets. We’ve all rolled out of bed, put on our racial epithet tee and headed to the airport. Next time you’re taking a trip, leave it at home. 

2. A jock strap and nothing else. Jock straps don’t have a backside. Bet you didn’t know that. While convenient, we’ve found that if you wear this, you don’t even make it to the baggage check.  

3. A strap on. Of course you want to pack one, but don’t WEAR one to your flight.   

4. A vest that looks like it’s also a bomb. You bought that new vest that tells time and flashes a lot. It also has fake dynamite sticks to support your posture. Fuck it. It’s too cool NOT to wear to the airport. 
 
5. Scrotum tape.
 
6. “Terrorist” brand clothing. Although it’s cool to wear shirts with the word “Terrorist” on them, some wearers found themselves getting shot or becoming unwilling participants in training exercises.  

7. Bandoliers. It’s recommended you don’t wear bandoliers but if you must, make sure there’s no live ammo in the shells.  

​8. Pants with arrows pointing to your “poop shoot.” While this is a perfect way to let paramedics know where your butt hole is in an emergency, it also has the word “shoot,” which scares people. 

Merch you shouldn't wear on a plane