Plumber André DeSantis explains how you’re flushing your toilet wrong.

Think way back to your childhood and the first time your dad or mom taught you how to use the toilet. They probably focused on the poop and pee part and not much else. Maybe they also showed you how to wipe. One thing I can almost guarantee they never taught you was how to flush. That’s o.k. because they never learned how to do it themselves. Like you, their parents were ignorant about the toilet techniques that make bathroom life easier, more enjoyable, and safer.

Flush forward to today—when you used your toilet, extended your arm to the flusher, and pressed it down, not thinking how that subtle motion could affect the flow of poop and pee as they descend into the complex system of pipes and tunnels we call “plumbing.”
While there are all sorts of toilet things I could teach you (and I will), today I’m focusing on the most basic toilet action of all—the flush.

Most people use what I call a “hard tap” flush motion, which is where you hit the flusher and press down with one or two fingers and then release. While this seems to accomplish a solid flush, what you’re really doing is sacrificing a good flush for a speedy one. Other people try to go even faster using what I call the “hit and quit it” motion, which is where you avoid touching the flusher for very long and do the quickest, softest tap you can. (News flash: touching the flusher for a short time isn’t going to keep all the feces from other people who have touched that thing off your fingers, so you may as well linger and do it right).

A good flush takes three fingers or a steady thumb—your choice. I recommend raising your hand in a “scout’s honor” motion, dropping it into range, and then slowly depressing the flusher for three full seconds. Count it out: One…Two…Three. You got it!

The other method is with the thumb, as I mentioned above. This is an advanced flush that you would use if you didn’t have other fingers or if you were trying to impress someone—like me maybe?  

Anyway… if you DID do it this way, you would take your thumb and aim it towards the flusher. Line the thumb up with your line of sight and hold it there until you can see the flusher in the “crosshairs,” which you have to imagine being just above the tip of your thumb. Once that looks even, make a direct line for the flusher with the thumb and then flush. Because the thumb has more power than the three finger method, you should only flush for two seconds. Count it out, as I mentioned before. 
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I hope this has been helpful and taught you a few things. I’ll try to come back and offer more tips about how to use your toilet. In the meanwhile, always be safe and use the proper techniques. If you do that, you can watch your poop and pee float away along with your troubles. 
 
All the best,
 
André
 
André DeSantis goes deep inside your pipes and holes. He also tells us he’s a plumber. He can be reached at [email protected].

Merch that you will flush down the toilet