8 Handmaid’s Tale spinoffs that should be in production right now.

As Hulu’s Handmaid’s Tale reaches its conclusion next week, pockets of fans who weren’t satisfied with six seasons of watching a prolonged closeup of Elizabeth Moss’s face, are asking for more. While a season seven is unlikely, the possibility of a spinoff is whetting the appetites of theocracy porn addicts everywhere.
 
We want to help, and this is why the Intergalactic Business Report proffers eight totally legit concepts for Handmaids spinoffs ranging from reality television to simply Elizabeth Moss’s face on a screen on a loop. As always, we don’t demand a finder’s fee or production credit. Just do as we say, shut your mouths, and conceive and then birth these potential masterpieces while our wife straddles you:
 
Elizabeth Moss’s Face.
Endless, looped episodes where the camera never leaves Elizabeth Moss’s face. Basically the same thing as every episode of the Handmaid’s Tale, only there is no plot or audio. Great for the holidays in place of the burning yule log video. 

Aunt Lydia’s Place.
Gilead goes down and Aunt Lydia must open a pub to survive in the new world. When her customer base dwindles, she must re-enlist her surviving “girls” to re-open her business as a strip club called “Jezebels.” Zaniness ensues when now health inspector Joseph Wallace enters to decide whether the establishment can keep its salad bar open or whether they need to move it farther from the stage. 

Amazing Race, Gilead. 
In this reality series, couples must make it through Gilead checkpoints, the colonies, and solve puzzles like why does everyone act like if you brought them into a Walmart they'd freak out at the abundance and decadence even though they used to shop there five years ago.

Fred Waterford, the college days. 
Before Fred was a commander, he was just a dude in college trying to get drunk and laid. When he meets Serena, who’s head of the debate society, he’s definitely in over his head. Can he and his crew of dipshit friends convince her to help them overthrow America and install a theocracy where girls have to listen to them and do the shit they tell them to? It’s a longshot, but with the help of Serena’s chunky nerd roommate, Lydia, who’ll do anything to fit in, they may have a chance.

June the Moon.
On a quiet summer’s night, people look up at the sky to see the moon is now Elizabeth Moss’s face. They all focus on it and watch and are afraid to look away. Each episode brings their collective gaze closer until the finale, in which the entire screen is just Elizabeth Moss’s face. Directed by Elizabeth Moss. 

Too Hot to Handle—Gilead. 
Hot Gilead singles are not allowed to touch, kiss, or bone each other or they go up on the wall. 

Temptation Island—Handmaid’s Tale edition.
Each week, isolated Handmaids who must live on a tropical island are tempted by new arrivals of commanders who try to persuade them to run away with them to make babies in their households in Boston. Instead of a traditional courtship, the twist is that the commanders arrive, point to whichever one they want, and then take them. 
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Real Handmaids of Atlanta. 
Handmaids must live in faux luxury as citizens of Atlanta and pretend they have enormous wealth from having married NFL players who stopped playing football twenty years ago when the salaries weren’t that high. Also, they want music careers. 

Gilead approved merch