THE INTERGALACTIC BUSINESS REPORT
  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR

Hidden Brand Messages

Hidden brand messages: athletic shoes.

8/17/2019

Comments

 
Picture
Athletic shoes have come a long way since Richie Cunningham took bucket shot free throws and wore whatever he wore. Today, multiple shoe companies compete for your attention and dollars as they beg you to be loyal to their brand. 
 
As a special reader benefit, the Intergalactic Business Report gives you the power to make the right choice as it takes you behind the rubber, leather, and synthetic materials and tells you what the biggest shoe brands are really saying. 
 
Nike: For the serious athlete who wants his shoes assembled by a 12-year-old kid with an AK-47 pointed at his head in an Asian sweatshop.
 
Adidas: What Hitler would wear if he played sports.
 
Puma: The shoes people in orgies wear, when they decide to wear shoes.
 
Reebok: We’re named after an Apartheid animal. Let’s go exercise or something.
 
New Balance: What you wear if you’re a dad and given up on looking cool, even a little bit. 
 
Saucony: Kind of sounds like, “Suck on these.” That’s on purpose.
 
Brooks: If our shoes were all white, they’d look like those things old nurses and waitresses wear.
 
Asics: We’re (b) asic (s).
 
Under Armour: We make tight shirts to wear underneath your real shirt. Now we own a factory in China that makes shoes too. Wanna wear them?
Comments

    About

    Oh, that's what they're really saying.

    Archives

    February 2023
    April 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    May 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    April 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR