Drugs are bad. Or are they good? We don’t know, but people seem to love them. This week, the Intergalactic Business Report’s proprietary brand deconstruction system breaks down Big Pharma’s most enticing concoctions and what’s really behind their messages.
Cialis. This boner pill will get you through an entire work day.
Chantix. Listen to creepy Ray. He put these pills in his mouth and he’s in movies.
Humira. Take this and you might not get cancer. Or you will. We don’t know.
Celebrex. Take this or your own dog will hate you.
Lyrica. We thought showing people rub their feet would make you want to put our pills in your mouth.
Truvada. Remember that orgy you were afraid to go to? Call Ricky and tell him you’re back in.
Kyleena. Stupid AND horny? We got you.
Viberzi. Why is Kathy Griffin at your doctor’s appointment?
Rexulti. If you took anti-depressants and still feel like shit, we have a solution: Take some more.
Hidden Brand Messages: Yoghurt.
Yoghurt. That weird tasting food you hope someone didn't do something to before you eat it, because you wouldn't know if he did. This week, the Intergalactic Business Report goes behind what Big Yoghurt wants you to see and reveals what they're actually saying.
Fage. We spent zillions on a campaign to tell everyone that it’s pronounced “Fah-Yeh,” because we were terrified some eighth-grade boys might ridicule us. Bonus: Bobby Flay seems straight, right?
Yoplait. French for “sugar bacteria.”
Noosa. That name sounds yoghurty, right?
Chaboni. Named after a girl from a 1983 movie about a tough teacher at an inner city school.
Dannon Oykos (Greek). Have a taste of John Stamos’ seamen.
Dannon (regular). Have a taste of John Stamos’ seamen.
Activa. If you want to picture Jamie Lee Curtis taking a dump, eat this.
Oh, that's what they're really saying.