Online shopping has increased by 8 zillion percent from 1985, when it didn't exist. Now you can buy anything by typing, clicking, and giving your personal information to a company who will soon after send you an email saying you've been "compromised." Why walk to a real store and risk being mugged, when you can have it done virtually from the comfort of your lazy couch? Anyway, here's what's behind the biggest online shopping brands.
1. Wayfair: for men who want to finally come out to their wives.
2. Amazon: Stuck with a name that wasn’t even cool in the 90’s.
3. Overstock: We were going to name it crap warehouse…
4. Walmart.com: Buy our crap without having to smell the people in our store.
5. Ebay: God knows where this shit has been.
6. Zappos: In another life, we would have been a clown.
7. Craig’s list: The merchandise costs money. The murdering when you come to pick it up is free.
Oh, that's what they're really saying.