The best pick up lines of all time

You think you know women? Actually, you have no idea, because unlike us, you operate from an irrational, unscientific perspective that dooms you to failure with the opposite sex. So, to make your life easier and to artificially make you more attractive, we've compiled the ten best pick up lines of all time. Use them. Don't abuse them.

Top ten best pick up lines of all time:

1. Come with me if you want to live. The ultimate pick up line comes from Michael Biehn in the Terminator. This syllogistic masterpiece is beautiful in its simplicity. A clear choice: Come jam with me. Or die. Thanatos and Eros. Sex and death. Who could resist?

2. Here I am, Rock you like a Hurricane. Klaus Mein of the Scorpions brought the world this teutonic panty dropper. It works because it begins with a grand announcement of the speaker’s arrival into the world of his intended. Then it offers the amazing promise of being rocked like a hurricane.

3. Oops, I think I hurt my balls. Can you help me up? We appreciate the set up to this pick up line because it plays on sympathy for an injury connected with sperm producing organs. Who isn’t going to help someone up? And not feel obligated to somehow also check on his balls?

4. Nice snatch! Directness wins in this underrated approach to wooing a mate. It is a compliment on a genital area that is probably unseen at the moment. The subject must ask, “how does he know what my snatch looks like?” The thought following is surely, “Oh, well. He’s complimenting me on it. So who cares?” Cut to a makeout session on the beach.

5. Did you notice me watching you this whole time? Don’t dismiss the stalkerish mastery of this line. Who doesn’t want to be watched? Who doesn’t want to be noticed? It’s a win-win.

6. Oops, I spilled a (Mojito) on my crotch. Can you wash my pants for me? Feel free to substitute any drink for Mojito.

7. Boobies make (your name) go crazy! Surprisingly, this line offers intrigue and connection that works on a deep subconscious level with 98% of human beings. Don’t be embarrassed. Just say it and watch the results.

8. If I were your boss, I’d fire you for giving me a hard-on. This line subconsciously puts the speaker in a position of authority (the boss) and also mentions the word “hard-on.” We think that says it all.
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9. (Your name) go poo poo in his pants. Again, it’s a subconscious thing. Just say it.

10. In about ten seconds, this whole place is going to blow. Me. Wanna be first? Answer: Hell yes.