What to say during those awkward post kissing moments? We give ABC’s “the Bachelor” free advice.

Most viewers watch “the Bachelor” and are satisfied with the romantic tale of one man who women in a bar would look over and say, “Yeah, he’s kind of cute, I guess. But is he rich?” who remains kind of cute and not rich but is suddenly transformed into the pinnacle of female desire because they put him in a room with thirty women and say: “Look. It’s the bachelor.” 
 
At the Intergalactic Business Report, that’s not enough. We go deeper and ask more questions, such as, are we in danger of Clayton Echard’s brain falling in love with everyone on the planet, is “bullying” a sex game we just don’t understand, and what should the bachelor say in the myriad post kissing moments he has to endure every episode? We address this today.
 
Through sublime editing, we see bachelors like Joey Graziadei (whose last name strangely translates to “Thank you, Lord”) make out with lady after lady after lady as they desperately offer him osculation as a means to stay on the show. But what happens when the kissy poo ends? Inevitably, the women tell Joey, “That was nice,” as they pretend to enjoy the halitosis and shame. But what does Joey say back? Today, we give him answers and a script that provides him various options to fill in those awkward, post mouth coital moments. Here you go Joey. These are free. Use them, don’t lose them, feel free to abuse them:
 

1. “How’s my dad’s dick taste?”
2. “You using toothpaste or bone broth?”
3. “That was nice. I feel like I could take a shit in front of you.”
4. “Maybe next time you should wear a condom on your tongue.”
5. “Your dad’s dick tastes good. That’s what I was tasting right?”
6. “That one made me go poopy in my pants.”
7. “You kiss like your dad. It’s so weird.”
8. “Next…”

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