Let’s face it. The whole Coronavirus thing was a crazy ride, but now it’s over. As America opens up, it’s your chance to hop on these new fun ideas before everyone else does. Suck breathing. Instead of sex, the thrill is placing your mouth on someone else’s and just breathing. Photo booth taco bars. Taco bars that are also in those photo booths where you cram in and have your picture taken. Only this time you’re eating tacos. Dutch oven parties. You and thirty-six friends arrive at the party where they put a huge non-porous cover over you and you just breathe and fart on each other for an hour. Group dressing rooms. Next time you’re at the mall, you can choose to try on clothes in the same tiny room only now it’s with twelve other people. Cake spinning. You get a huge cake, put it on a lazy susan, and your friends surround it. Then spin and eat to break the record. Airplane floor tables. New designer tables made from uncleaned airplane floors. Enjoy your meal. Silly monster faces. In this new craze, you and your friend use your fingers to make the other person’s face look like a monster. Seeing how many people can fit inside a phone booth or VW Bug. It’s back. Now’s the time. Free face licks. The free hugs movement was too gentle and lame. Now dudes with tee-shirts just lick your face. Recirculated air roulette. Friends gather and breathe in tubes blowing in air from random people’s mouths. Personal space invaders. Just like the video game, a cluster of people gets closer and closer till you can’t fight them off anymore and you just submit. |
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July 2024
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