 The "I'm squatting in this condemned building while I write my novel" look will be hot this year. Up for grabs gives you seven never before used interior design styles. Go ahead and take them before they’re all the rage. You’ve heard of French Country and Shabby Chic, but have you heard of: Redneck Furbaby. Couches with holes that are filled in with dog hair. Unemployed waiter. A reclining chair with drink holders and a t.v. Mid-century Italian-American. Spaghetti sauce stains on walls and a wife beater draped over a kitchen table chair that people turn around to sit in. Irish minimalism. A bottle of whiskey in an otherwise empty room. My house just got robbed. Random shit thrown all over the floor, urine stains on the couch, open refrigerator doors, and an anarchy symbol spray-painted on the wall. Crack house luxe. A stained looking mattress with no sheets but it costs twenty thousand dollars. Grandma got evicted. A distressed rocking chair and some Christmas cookies poured over the floor.  Nanu Nanu was what Mork from Ork said. Today, it's a grandparent name. Most cultures have languages with words that mean things. A cat is a cat and a dog is a dog, but when it comes to Grandfather and Grandmother, people can’t and won’t stop making up stupid sounding alternative names like Nana and Papi. Long ago, someone in their stupid families started the tradition and now you’re stuck with it. Or are you? Up for grabs offers you seven sweet new grandparent nicknames that are just as dumb as whatever you call your parents’ parents, but these have never been used. Be the first by calling your old people: 1. Poopoo and Norma. 2. Pikachu and Manana. 3. Peepee and Ninny. 4. Porgy and Bess. 5. Porno and Nockers. 6. Pud and Nipple. 7. Prince Oldenballs and Madame Crotchcoffin. |
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January 2023
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