Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise is the biggest platform for middle-aged women getting drunk and screaming at each other since the View, and gifts each one of its stars a personal tagline that exemplifies their very being.
As the show expands to new cities and spinoffs, the Intergalactic Business Report gives cast members original, totally free taglines they can use immediately. Hurry, before a new housewife claims one of these, below:
“Not only do I do cocaine, I’m addicted to it.”
“The only time you’ll shut me up is when I deepthroat this whole show.”
“Give me a solid gold dildo, and I’ll do anal.”
“Looks, money, fame… It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t have money.”
“Call me shallow but my vagina is deeper than Deepak Chopra.”
“FBI stands for Fabulous Beyond Infinity. And I’m under 24-hour surveillance.”
“You can tap my phone for free, but you’ll need money if you want to tap this ass.”
“I’m so drunk…”
“That stanky scent you’re smelling is my success.”
We name it. You grab it. Stop thinking so much.