Best and worst jobs in America right now.

Semen sweepers can make up to 4 dollars an hour.

Jobs are what you do while you slowly die over fifty or sixty years, so you better pick a good one! This week the Intergalactic Business Report profiles the best and worst jobs in America. Read and don’t need ever again. 
 
 
BEST: Hedge fund manager.
WORST: Assistant leg humper.
 
BEST: Vice-president for strategic solutions.
WORST: Semen sweeper.
 
BEST: Fortune 500 Board Chairman.
WORST: “Brenda’s bitch.”
 
BEST: Philanthropist.
WORST: Tester of the limits of butthole expansion using your own butthole.
 
BEST: Venture Capitalist.
WORST: Japanese pee taster.
 
BEST: Multi-patented inventor.
WORST: Independent human hair collector.
 
BEST: Famous artist.
WORST: Famous self nut puncher. 
 
BEST: Extremely successful actor. 
WORST: Ghost who never found love and haunts some girl from high school he was kind of into, but not totally.