Jobs are what you do while you slowly die over fifty or sixty years, so you better pick a good one! This week the Intergalactic Business Report profiles the best and worst jobs in America. Read and don’t need ever again.
BEST: Hedge fund manager.
WORST: Assistant leg humper.
BEST: Vice-president for strategic solutions.
WORST: Semen sweeper.
BEST: Fortune 500 Board Chairman.
WORST: “Brenda’s bitch.”
WORST: Tester of the limits of butthole expansion using your own butthole.
BEST: Venture Capitalist.
WORST: Japanese pee taster.
BEST: Multi-patented inventor.
WORST: Independent human hair collector.
BEST: Famous artist.
WORST: Famous self nut puncher.
BEST: Extremely successful actor.
WORST: Ghost who never found love and haunts some girl from high school he was kind of into, but not totally.
The best. The worst. You don't need to decide, because we do for you.