Best and worst telephone greetings.

"Wassuuuuup," remains one of the worst phone greetings ever.

Soon after the phone was invented, people had to come up with things to say when they answered it. The Intergalactic Business Report compiles the very best and worst ways of doing that. If you’re someone who trains people to answer phones, feel free to use this with new employees. You’re welcome.
 
 
BEST: Hello?
WORST: Who dat?
 
BEST: Mike speaking.
WORST: Wassuuuup?
 
BEST: Parker residence.
WORST: Dick sucker residence.
 
BEST: Name of business, how may I help you?
WORST: Name of business, how may I help you suck my dick?
 
BEST: Hello?
WORST: Hello? Suck my dick.
 
BEST: Mike speaking.
WORST: Speak into my mic.*
 
BEST: Parker residence.
WORST: Parker suck my dick residence.
 
BEST: Good morning, this is Sandra.
WORST: Good morning, this is Sandra’s dick. Will you suck me?
 
*Which means, “Suck my dick.”