Mascots. They delight us with their frolicking happiness and faux competitive spirit. But there is also a dark side as the Intergalactic Business Report learned when we went across the country to find the absolute worst mascots ever conceived of. Here they are:
The Hope State Lepers.
The Ansberry Tech Looters.
The Carmel College Big Brown Toilet Flush.
The Mohave High School Shit Pieces.
The Utah Frotteurists.
The Bellingham Community College Open Marriage That Seemed Like A Good Idea But Ended Up Hurting Everyone And Leading To A Messy Divorce.
The Virginia College of Optometry Van Drivers Who Offer Candy to Children.
The Martin Military Academy Deserters.
The Healthy Weight Institute Desserters.
The Orville State University Systemic Racists.
The Hornsbury College Beehive Fuckers.
The Fronteneau High School Will Suck Dick For Money.
The North Carolina Gifted Charter School Freak Squad.
The Upstate South Carolina Community College Old People Molesters.
The College of the Philippines Sex Traffickers.
Orlando Area School for the Arts Satanic Dildo Performers.
The best. The worst. You don't need to decide, because we do for you.