THE INTERGALACTIC BUSINESS REPORT
  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR

Up for grabs

Four bar names you can have right now.

8/10/2018

Comments

 
Picture
Own a bar? Well, you’re stupid, because it’s the worst business anyone can ever have. But you probably heard that already, about a million times, just before you decided to be a total idiot and go into the “bar business.” 
 
The only good news about your horrible decision is that the Intergalactic Business Report can turn your dumbness slightly around by granting you a superior name for your crap infested shithole. 
 
These four winners have been scientifically chosen to turn you from total disaster to just a guy who owns a crappy bar – with an awesome name.

 
1. The Beaver Hole. This Oregon-themed title will give you street cred with lumberjacks and also make people think it’s a strip club. Watch all those disappointed faces enter your place of business and feel obliged to order a drink. You did it.
  
2. Big Dick’s Big Dick Bar. That’s correct, you get to be known as “Big Dick.” Great, right? And by saying that it’s a “big dick” bar, you will attract big dicks to come there. Score. 

3. The Buggery. Like the famous “Snuggery” in Chicago, this is kind of like that. Except that it’s British slang for buttfucking. 
 
4. The Snatch Factory. Kind of like the Beaver Hole (above) except the people you’ll attract will be much much worse. And they probably won’t order a drink. Hey, it’s number four on the list. You can’t expect too much.
Comments

    About

    We name it. You grab it. Stop thinking so much.

    Archives

    January 2023
    October 2022
    September 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    September 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR