Up for grabs: Even more penis names.

​After millions* of requests for more penis names we’ve unlocked our secret vault of man meat monikers. Look, choose, and name your member before everyone else starts calling theirs: 
 
John Freshdong.
 
Elastius Nutprotruder.
 
Sir Gerald Dickenstein.
 
Mr. Shaftenberg.
 
Commodore Richard St. Muffstuffer.
 
The First Earl of Vansexbehaving. 
 
Creepy Dirk.
 
Bernard Lil’ Shank.
 
Borgag the Slender.
 
Lothar the Short, but also thick so that’s like being big even though people measure length and not girth, but they should.
 
Darryl Freakpenis.
 
 
 
*Zero requests, actually, but we ran out of shit to do.