Probably the most important question coming from the global pandemic is whether or not Bigfoot and others will finally show their faces now that humans tricked them into thinking we all had left the planet.
As we sit back and hope for their sightings, we profile a list of the very best and worst crypto monsters out there.
BEST: Chupacabra. Creepy, reptilian dog creature that kills livestock.
WORST: Charo, reptilian Love Boat guest star who kills people’s sanity by making them question why she’s famous.
BEST: Mothman. West Virginia winged creature.
WORST: Mathman. Only person in West Virginia able to do basic algebra.
BEST: Loch Ness Monster. Scottish lake monster.
WORST: Loch Ness Hipster. Bearded dude who lives by the lake, wears a pork pie hat, and plays a ukulele.
BEST: Cadborosaurus. Sea serpent in the Pacific Northwest.
BEST: Bigfoot. Also known as Sasquatch. Hairy ape creature from North America.
WORST: Phil Ratuliak.
BEST: Kraken. Sea monster with massive tentacles.
WORST: Phil McCracken. Massive testicles. Something like that.
BEST: Mokele-mbembe. Dinosaur in Africa.
WORST: Dikembe Mutombo.
BEST: Beast of Bodmin Moor. Phantom wildcat in Cornwall, England.
WORST: Trisha Henson. 47-year-old cougar from Cornwall, Iowa. She appears at the Applebee’s bar, vanishes from your apartment the next morning, and then returns to your nightmares every night thereafter.
BEST: Mongolian Death Worm. Harmless myth that isn’t true.
WORST: People who claim the Mongolian Death Worm is a real thing.
BEST: Jersey Devil. Horse that walks on two legs.
WORST: Virtually anyone from New Jersey. Whether they walk on two legs or not.
BEST: Skunk Ape. Stinky humanoid from Florida.
WORST: Your college roommate. Stinky humanoid who was on the top bunk.
BEST: Piasa. Native American dragon bird.
WORST: Butterball. Immobile turkey from your fridge.
The best. The worst. You don't need to decide, because we do for you.