Could the cure to Coronavirus be shut the F up?

Scientists recently stated that talking may be a major source of COVID-19 spread, as the act expels more viral droplets than if you just shut the fuck up. We explore this new theory in detail below with a list of frequently asked questions:
 
 
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
 
What happens when you just finally shut the fuck up?
When you do this, you stop the viral load from releasing from your face. You also stop the bullshit that comes out of your mouth from being heard by people who wish you would just shut the fuck up.
 
Are there health benefits to shutting the fuck up?
Many. But let’s start with how if you shut the fuck up, people will be less inclined to beat your ass after hearing you complain about some nonsense in your life or simply listening to one of your crap questions where you act like you’re some kind of a fucking genius for opening your mouth.
 
Is it possible for you to shut the fuck up?
We honestly don’t know. Is it? Because we really wonder. We wake up every morning and ask ourselves if you’ll finally shut the fuck up. But there you are, yapping away. 
 
If you shut the fuck up now, during a pandemic, would it encourage you to stop talking when things get back to normal?
Let’s hope?
 
How many people shutting the fuck up would it take to have a global effect?
Scientists aren’t sure about an exact number, but even if just one person, like you, shut the fuck up, it would help the world by not having your immensely stupid shit verbally expressed.
 
 Should you shut the fuck up right now?
Yes.
 
If you shut the fuck up, when would it be safe to start talking again? 
Who knows? Even when the pandemic ends, it would be a good idea for you to keep your fucking mouth shut just in case, maybe for several years, till you forget how to talk or something.

click to shut the fuck up