By now, most of us have heard of alternative universes—those places that mirror our own world, but are slightly different and exist in another plane of reality. Sound like nerd talk? It definitely is, but the Intergalactic Business Report studied the subject more deeply and found several of them using a still-developing technology that allows people to visit and view them briefly.
In our research, we uncovered many interesting alternative universes, but one of the most fascinating was one where it was Christmas every day. Below, we show the main differences between the reality of our world and what we are calling “Christmas world.”
OUR WORLD: Is the way it is because it just is.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Several years ago, a guy wished it could be Christmas every day and it actually worked.
OUR WORLD: We spend tons of money on Christmas presents, are disappointed by December 26, and then have huge credit card bills we can’t pay.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Since Christmas is every day, you’re expected to give gifts to everyone every day. It’s just unaffordable. And since you have to give Christmas presents every day they started keeping stores open on Christmas so you can actually buy more presents. So you’re either working Christmas, shopping on Christmas, or both.
OUR WORLD: After the Christmas depression wears off, you sink into the rest of Winter and look forward to Spring.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Spring is Christmas. So is Summer. And Fall. It totally sucks.
OUR WORLD: You see some of your most annoying relatives on Christmas, but it’s only for one day.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Your most annoying relatives live with you now, because they need to be there tomorrow (and today) for Christmas.
OUR WORLD: Children love Christmas and getting gifts.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Children hate Christmas because they need to share a room with Uncle Randy and their weird cousins. Also, the gifts have gone from Xbox games to old toothbrushes your dad found somewhere.
OUR WORLD: People sing Christmas carols and listen to holiday music.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: They tried doing that for a while but it eventually led to people shooting Christmas Carolers and burning down “all Christmas all the time” radio stations.
OUR WORLD: Our economy and job markets go up and down.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: The “economy” is people who work retail and people who have the day off forever but can’t afford to shop retail.
OUR WORLD: The mall Santa Claus asks your kids what they want for Christmas.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Guys dressed up like Santa shoot each other in the streets.*
OUR WORLD: Your mom is having sex with a guy named Randy and people tell you about it in detail and you try not to believe them except you see Randy’s truck leaving your mom’s driveway every time you go to see her.
CHRISTMAS WORLD: Exactly the same, except it’s every day.
*We saw this happening a lot and don't quite understand why.
Reports so secret we hide them on this page.