As part of an awkward social experiment commissioned by the Intergalactic Business Report, self-identified socialite Tina Redinkio has hooked up her diary to the internet. The following is a live-streamed excerpt that has just been captured:
“…that’s what a bitch is called, bitch… and then I just told her that again because I didn’t think she heard it the first time. Ha. So funny. Ooh. I just saw that light come on which means they’re streaming my diary again! So exciting for everyone out there to hear all my personal thoughts live-streamed on the internet. Remember, these are my private writings! So be kind as you read them and remember these are not meant for public consumption. They’re secret. Dark secret thoughts. O.K. So, I want to give a shout out to Herbal Loop, which is like a new company that’s sponsoring me and their haircare products are so dope that I use them myself. And also, Snickers? I’m sponsored by Snickers? Oh shit. That’s my girl Jody just fucking with me. She said to say Snickers. What a slut! Ha ha. You know I love you, Jody. I do. O.K., so I was going to enter something just between me and myself and that was… uh…. So hard to do this… It’s like, what am I saying to my diary today, right? O.K… So here it is… Deep dark secret. I met this guy on Tinder and he was all like let’s have sex, but he said it after we had dinner, cause we met out for dinner, but it was this really janky place cause he picked it and said it was good, but it wasn’t? I ordered this salad and it was like three pieces of lettuce and then like a huge carrot or something and I was asking the waitress what that was and she said it wasn’t a carrot? It was like some root or something? And that was because the restaurant was Asian? So then I had to figure out if I was gonna have sex with this guy, because dinner was almost over and then… Fuck you Jody? WTF? Jody’s saying she knows the same guy? Anyway, diary, I just want to thank you for being such a good listener! Ha. So funny. Wait. Is the light going off now?...”
According to laws, we’re only allowed to broadcast a diary for about two minutes before cutting off the signal. So, till next time…
Reports so secret we hide them on this page.