Reading internet memes causes alcoholism.

A meme reader passes out in a public park.

After posting a meme suggesting that drinking beer was better than going to a psychologist, the Intergalactic Business Report received hundreds* of responses from angry readers who accused us of promoting alcoholism.
 
We want to, therefore, issue an apology to anyone who became an alcoholic because of our meme. We understand this is a serious issue and that some people who have drinking problems, or, in some cases, never have had a drink in their lives, may read our meme and either relapse or become raging alcoholics in a matter of moments.
 
As an example of how this works, just look at the number of cat abductions that have taken place since the internet began promoting adorable kitty memes. We would also point to the rampant use of the term “Deez nutz,” just a few years ago. While the scare of that phrase spreading to the point at which world leaders begin to say “Deez nuts,” has dissipated, a new phrase, like, “Mah Ballzzz,” could easily take over again if an irresponsible organization like ours were to begin to spread such a thing. 
 
In closing, we apologize again and look forward to a future of safe internet viewing for all.
 
Sincerely,
 
The editors.
The Intergalactic Business Report. 

​*Three.