5 merch items from the Intergalactic Business Report that are making customers feel instantly awkward and ashamed.

For years, fans of the Intergalactic Business Report have been begging for clothing and accessories that are officially sanctioned by our award-winning magazine. Now we can tell those fans to stop begging and start buying our merch.
 
We do feel a duty to offer full disclosure about some of the items you may buy from our new online store.
 
Customers have complained about being “embarrassed” after wearing many of the high fashion apparel and feeling incredibly “awkward” around other people who they feel are judging them and staring at them almost non-stop.
 
They point to some of the following as being especially troublesome:
 

1. A muscle shirt that claims the wearer won a “group masturbation championship” in 1998.
2. A protective face mask that says, “Penis Tunnel Closed.”
3. A long-sleeved shirt that claims, “Robot Lovers do it in the butt.”
4. A tote bag that says, “Bag of Shit.”
5. A tee-shirt that claims it’s wearer is a “registered sex pretender.”

 
While we make no apologies for how you may feel after wearing these products…. We can’t remember what we were going to say next.
 
Anyway, go to www.ibrmerch.com