6 signs it’s time to quit your remote job.

The Coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we all work, making many white-collar jobs remote and clearing out office buildings everywhere. For the foreseeable future, many of us will be at home, Skyping, Zooming, emailing, and texting our ways to the next performance review.
 
Just a year ago, you probably knew when it was time to quit and move on from your job. Whether it was a long commute, a cramped office, or even colleagues who diminish you, it was clear you needed to find something new. But how do you know today? 
 
The Intergalactic Business Report reveals the 6 signs it’s time to leave your remote job today.
 
 
1. The volume on your computer is messed up. Even when you crank it all the way up, it sounds the same and you have trouble hearing what people are saying. 

2. It’s inefficient to toggle between online porn and your Zoom call and sometimes you miss a prime scene because you are distracted by your boss telling you something that you can’t really hear because you’re blasting the porn as loud as possible, which is probably what your boss is telling you but fuck him.  

3. You try to touch people during a meeting but when you do you just smudge your computer screen. The people also seem smaller than in real life.  

4. Co-workers don’t like the “talking penis” thing you do instead of showing your face. 

5. Co-workers don’t like when they Face Time you and can only see a black screen but then you pan out to reveal it’s your butthole. 

​6. People at your office don’t appreciate the “functioning” part of being a “functioning alcoholic” and you have to constantly explain it to them. 

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