Rich people. Those zany motherfuckers who can buy anything and who you want to be friends with so you can say, “Yeah, I’m friends with that dude and I’ve been in his private jet. No. Really.”
As much as you may grovel at their feet, new evidence suggests there may not be much of a difference between you and them. In fact, one of the only factors separating “normal” people from the super-rich is how each of us spends his money.
In a fascinating new development, the Intergalactic Business Report reveals the 7 things the ultra-wealthy do with their money that you can start doing too. Try these today and become the person at whose feet other people grovel.
7 strange things the ultra-wealthy do with their money, that you should try too.
1. Sometimes they go to a bank and say, “I’d like to deposit this check for one million dollars.” Maybe you should try that.
2. They use their money to buy multi-million-dollar yachts and cars that cost like $250,000. You should do that.
3. Once in a while, one of them will tell one of their servants to tell the helicopter pilot to get ready because they want to watch a football game from the sky and then they pull out a hundred-dollar bill and say, “Here. I appreciate you.” Give that a try.
4. They pay the $363,472 bill on their Amex Black Card. Get one of those and then pay your own bill.
5. In Summer, they decide to pay to have their pool house renovated so they can have an arthouse actor live there and come out occasionally to tell them stories about Klaus Kinski and Werner Herzog, because he knows them or something. Why don’t you try that? It doesn’t have to be the same guy. Just anyone really, as long as you pay for the pool house renovation.
6. When a nun tells them about terrible shit that’s happening in some other country, they write a huge check to stop the problem, because that works. You should write a huge check too. Unless you don’t care about orphans in war-torn countries.
7. They pay for “security personnel” to protect them so people don’t touch them or ask for stuff without getting brushed aside by dudes who look way too fat to actually fight but are somehow professional bodyguards. Get some of those guys for your own protection. Until then, you’ll just get touched by people.
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