9 ways the inclusive language guide gets it wrong.

​You’re at work and you need to communicate with someone, but you know if you open your mouth it’s going to sound hateful. Instead of just sitting there drooling like a specially-abled citizen, you review inclusive language lists that tell you what to say instead of the sexist/racist/homophobic evil that was about to emanate from your nasty, colonialist mouth. 
 
In an effort to help you save your job, the Intergalactic Business Report found some diversity equity inclusion guidelines for inclusive language. But, in a stunning development, we also found that the inclusive language being proffered is actually horrifying in its own racist/sexist/ageist/ ableist/ homophobic way. Are diversity equity and inclusion people actually subversive Nazi sympathizers? You decide.
 
 
#1. Instead of “ladies and gentlemen,” say, “everyone or folks.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
By saying every “one” you are celebrating the Western, white supremacist concept of the individual over the group. 
 
“Folks” is what racist people in the South say, learned originally from their slave owner ancestors. Also, “folks” was a term favored by the Nazis to describe the master, Aryan race. For example, “Ein Volk, Ein Land, Ein Fuhrer.”
 
#2. Instead of “insane” say “hard to believe” or “not acceptable”?
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
So, you’re saying that people with mental illness are not acceptable and shouldn’t be believed?
 
#3. Instead of saying “Mom and Dad,” say “Parent or Guardian.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
“Parent” obviously describes an unequal paternal relationship with a supplicant, subservient underling (slavery much?). And “Guardian” implies a person who must “guard” or watch over a helpless being who is unable to make their own decisions—like a baby or child. So patronizing. 
 
Further, losing the terms “mom” or “dad” make it more difficult to understand it when someone says, “Parent? Parent? Do you even care that my dream is to be a DJ? Guardian? Are you drunk again? Don’t worry, I’ll keep my voice down. I don’t want the everyone in the neighborsphere to find out we’re not the pefect fucking home grouping!”
 
#4. Instead of “opposite sex” say “different sex.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
Why call out another sex as being “different” or “other”? 
 
#5. Instead of saying “Black list” say, “blocked list.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
Wait till black people find out what “blocked list” used to be called and who changed it. Conspiracy much? Eenie meenie miney moe much?
 
#6. Instead of “blind spot” say, “problem area.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
So blind people are a “problem” now?
 
#7. Instead of saying “OCD” say, “precise, particular.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG: 
So, we’re saying OCD people don’t need mental health help because they’re just precise people? Why don’t we just say people who can’t walk are just those really slow people who slither around on the ground to get places because they don’t need wheelchairs?
 
#8. Instead of saying “man hours” say, “work hours.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
So only men work? Seriously?
 
#9. Instead of “maternity” leave, call it “gestational leave.”
 
WHY IT’S WRONG:
Gestate? Like a pachyderm? So now you’re calling women elephants? Body shame much?

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