THE INTERGALACTIC BUSINESS REPORT
  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR

Business news and advice that go beyond our galaxy.

"Are you a virgin? Yes or no?" Six ageist interview questions and how to respond.

10/6/2020

Comments

 
Picture
You’re not allowed to discriminate against a job applicant based on his or her age, because “ageism” is illegal. Or something like that. 
 
The next time you interview for a job, look for subtle clues that your potential employer is trying to find out just when your birthday was. The Intergalactic Business Report presents a definitive list of common age-discriminatory queries and then tells you how to respond. You’re welcome. Our guide is below:
 
 
THE SUBTLE, GENERATIONAL QUESTION: 
Here, the interviewer makes a seemingly innocuous reference to an event, phenomenon, or personality from a time period only people of a certain generation would understand, thus gauging your age by your answer.
EXAMPLE: “Which 80’s icon do you relate to more? Long Duck Dong or Long Dong Silver?”
HOW TO RESPOND: “Long Dong Silver.”
 
THE NOT SO SUBTLE, DIRECT QUESTION:
Sometimes an interviewer will simply ask about your age in a more direct way.
EXAMPLE: “You look old, motherfucker. Are you old?”
HOW TO RESPOND: If you can, throw your teeth at him. He’ll respect this.
 
THE QUESTION ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE:
Employers may ask a question about your experience to determine how long you’ve been working—thus making a rough calculation about your age.
EXAMPLE: “Are you a virgin? Yes or no.”
HOW TO RESPOND: “That’s private. But I’ve been with lots of people. I didn’t go all the way every time, but it’s not like I don’t have experience.”
 
THE QUESTION ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL LIFE OR LIFESTYLE:
Often your lifestyle can tell employers your age.
EXAMPLE: “Are you into no boundaries sex with old men like me?”
HOW TO RESPOND: “Yes.”
 
THE “HOW’S THE WIFE” QUESTION:
Here, the interviewer drops in a question about your spouse. Are you just married? Hitting your 50th anniversary? Spending a lot of time with the grand kids?
EXAMPLE: “Is your husband willing to have sex with me for this job?”
HOW TO RESPOND: “Are you willing to have sex with him?”
 
THE “HEALTH” QUESTION:
Your health is often attached to your age, and some employers will try to measure whether you will be a burden on their health care plan if you are at high risk for disease or hospitalization.
EXAMPLE: “If you sucked my dick for money, would you get a heart attack?”
HOW TO RESPOND: “How much money?”
Support IBR
Comments

    About

    The only business news in the universe that matters.

    Archives

    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    March 2018

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR