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Business news and advice that go beyond our galaxy.

Billionaires say these six things to themselves every morning.

10/27/2018

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Ever wonder what the difference between you and a billionaire is? The obvious answer is “a billion dollars,” but considering your credit card situation, it may be even more. Despite your ridiculous poverty, you still have a chance to learn how to “think rich,” and, who knows, maybe that will get you out of your crappy life. Probably not, but, as we just said, who knows?
 
In an exclusive survey with some of the world’s top billionaires, the Intergalactic Business Report has found one commonality between them all. The mega rich say six things to themselves each and every morning. Is this the difference between being you and being them? Short answer: yes. Long answer: No.
 
Here’s what rich people say after they roll out of their luxury beds:
 
1. “I think I overslept. Oh, wait, it doesn’t matter because I’m so fucking rich. I’m going back to sleep.”
 
2. “I'm going to fucking kill my butler if he does my eggs wrong today.” 

3. “I think I’m going to deposit more money in my bank account. Oh, I forgot. The bank can’t fit any more of my money.” 

4. “I could spend every day literally burning my money, and somehow I’d make money doing it.” 

5. “I should probably give all my money away. To myself. Oh, I already did that. Where’s my fucking butler with my eggs?” 
​
6. “I could either pay to have an actual eight and a half inch penis, or I could pay everyone I know to just say I have an eight and a half inch penis. I think I’ll do both.”
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  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR