Ever wonder what the greatest business minds in the world talk about when the cameras aren't on? The Intergalactic Business Report overheard Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos while they were having lunch. Below is the crazy story of how it happened as well as a full transcript of the conversation.
A few days ago, an IBR writer was eating at a McDonalds when he noticed Bezos and Gates at a nearby table. Trained to memorize words and things people say, he transcribed their interaction entirely in his head.
THE FULL TRANSCRIPT:
JEFF BEZOS: Hey, man.
BILL GATES: What?
JEFF BEZOS: Nothing. I just said hey.
BILL GATES: Hey.
JEFF BEZOS: You want those fries?
BILL GATES: I fucking ordered them. So yeah. I want em.
JEFF BEZOS: Why you being suck a dick?
BILL GATES: I’m not being a dick. I just wanna eat my fucking lunch.
JEFF BEZOS: Fine…
BILL GATES: Cool.
JEFF BEZOS: So we’re not gonna talk or anything?
BILL GATES: We are talking.
JEFF BEZOS: Is something wrong? I mean, just tell me.
BILL GATES: Nothing.
JEFF BEZOS: Nothing?
BILL GATES: I don’t know.
JEFF BEZOS: Just tell me man.
BILL GATES: It’s just that…
JEFF BEZOS: What?
BILL GATES: Just computers and shit.
JEFF BEZOS: Oh…
BILL GATES: Yeah… I mean all the fucking time.
JEFF BEZOS: I know man. For me it’s selling shit online. All that shit.
BILL GATES: Why is it every time I tell you about my problems, you start talking about your fucking problems?
JEFF BEZOS: I was just trying to relate to you or whatever.
BILL GATES: Fuck off. This is why I hate eating fucking lunch with you.
JEFF BEZOS: I fucking hate you.
BILL GATES: Eat my fucking fries! You’ve been staring at them for twenty fucking minutes.
(Jeff ate the fries. They kind of stopped talking after that.)
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