A billionaire gave me the secret to being rich in one word.
I know lots of rich people. Lots. And all of them have a lot of money. I asked one of them to give me the secret of being rich in one word. You won’t believe what he said.
I would never disclose his name. He asked me not to. Let’s just call him Gregory. I would never disclose his industry, though you can probably guess when I say that he’s part of something big, very big, and it has to do with making money – a ton of it.
We sat and ordered drinks. Gregory had something with whiskey in it and I asked for vodka and Mountain Dew to wake myself up after a long weekend of partying on Gregory’s boat. Part of the “rich” lifestyle is to be on boats sometimes, and it’s also to have women in bikinis around. Sometimes.
On this last weekend, we had spent a lot of time drinking, but there were no women in bikinis. There was a kind of okay looking girl who served us drinks, but, like I said, she was just okay. I asked Gregory where all the bikini girls were, and he said something about how it’s complicated and that there weren’t always a bunch of girls in bikinis on rich people’s boats. Whatever, I thought.
But, anyway, I was sitting with Gregory and I asked him the question about the secret of his wealth. At first, he didn’t answer. He was like, why does it have to be one word, and I was like, because it’s cooler that way. And he was like, what’s cooler that way, and I was like it! It’s cooler that way.
So that went on for a little while. Truth be told, Gregory is kind of a dick. Not to say all rich people are dicks. But Gregory is. I hope all this hasn’t given away his identity.
Stuff calmed down. We had more drinks. I was getting kind of jacked up on the Dew and feeling weird and Gregory was looking all sad or something. So I asked him what was wrong. He said he figured out what the one word was. He said I had to come closer, that he needed to whisper it to me.
So I leaned in. I could tell he was about to say something. I wondered, would his voice be too soft for me to hear? I leaned in more. He opened his mouth. I eagerly waited. Then Gregory totally kissed me. Like making out kissing. And for a second I just went with it, but then I was like, what happened to the advice about being rich and all that shit? I was angry as hell.
All I can tell you is that the secret of getting rich in one word is making out with some other dude before he can realize what’s happening. As this reality of the universe hit me, I began to see how it all made sense. Sometimes, a word can be an action. And an action can be a word.
Darryl Smurten is an expert on the lives and lifestyles of super wealthy people. His own life consists of hanging out with these people and garnering insights and secrets about them. Send him comments at firstname.lastname@example.org
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