IBR announces its own cryptocurrency. How it’s different than the rest.

Dogecoin. Bitcoin. Bit-o-Honey. Cryptocurrency is the new rage among people who want money but don’t want it to be the kind where you can understand how it’s actually money. As prices for these new currencies fluctuate, dip, and bend, many of our readers demand to know the rules of this new economic system.
 
As the business source of record, the Intergalactic Business Report originally planned to issue an in-depth white paper on the subject to educate and advise you on this trend in your approach to buying, selling, and trading. That was hard.
 
When we delved deeper and deeper we decided, finally, that it was better to just issue our own cryptocurrency and stop worrying so much about how all of this worked, mostly because it’s all kind of made up anyway. Below, we explain our new currency and how it differs from the others.
 
 
FACT SHEET: The new IBR crypto dollar.

• The IBR crypto dollar is the basic unit in our new currency. 
• The amount of IBR crypto dollars is limitless, meaning you could have one, two, three, or maybe even a million.
• Each crypto dollar is worth one crypto dollar.
• Currently, each crypto dollar is also worth about a million U.S. dollars, so if you get one from us, that will cost you a million dollars.
• Do you want one? You can totally have it. Just give us the current exchange rate (above).
• You may want to get two. Just an idea.
• We make our cryptocurrency using computers but the technology is proprietary, because we don’t want people just stealing our money or making their own.
• When you buy an IBR crypto dollar you get an email back from us, saying thanks. That’s your proof that you bought one.
• We don’t buy back our crypto dollars once we sell them to you. So, you need to find someone else if you want your million dollars back. (Or two million if you bought two).
• Hey, what about buying three IBR crypto dollars? Just another idea.
• You can use an IBR crypto dollar to buy anything you want from anyone who accepts IBR crypto dollars.
• Jeff Tanner, of Tampa Florida, accepts IBR crypto dollars if you have sex with him in his van. (The list of companies is growing, but right now it’s just Jeff.)
• In case you didn’t get it, you pay Jeff. He doesn’t pay you.
• FLASH SALE: our rates just went down. You can get three IBR crypto dollars for $2.5 million. Do it.
• UPDATE: We will now sell you IBR crypto dollars in exchange for Taco Bell. But we get to order. You can’t just show up with like a taco. 
• Someone is telling us this is illegal or something.
• We guess don’t buy our crypto dollars. 
• This is hard.
• We’re done writing now. Goodbye.

IBR STORE