As the most reliable source for how to become ultra-wealthy in the fastest time possible, the Intergalactic Business Report has finally done what readers have begged for. A new, exclusive course on billionaire training will focus on the mindset needed to not only be a billionaire, but to stay one.
While the spots for the course are limited, we can give you a preview of the kinds of activities and events the program entails. Below, we excerpt highlights from the different course levels so you get a taste for the knowledge that’s so close to being yours. Want to be insanely wealthy and tell other people what to do? Read on and consider paying us to tell you what to do.
COURSE ONE: Thinking like a billionaire.
DESCRIPTION: In the introductory course to the Billionaire Training Program, IBR coaches take you to our desert retreat and reprogram the way you feel about yourself so that all negative thoughts begin to fade and you see yourself as the champion you could be.
HIGHLIGHTS: We bury you up to your neck in sand and yell at you for being a pussy.
TESTIMONIAL: “After taking course one of the Billionaire Training Program, I felt like a total pussy. I also almost drowned in sand. They’re telling me course two is a lot better, so I signed up for that too. Wish me luck.”
COURSE TWO: Drinking like a billionaire.
DESCRIPTION: Building off course one, we break down your inhibitions and and give you a new mindset as you sample a “taste” of the billionaire lifestyle.
HIGHLIGHTS: We move from the desert sand to a trailer in the desert and where you drink.
TESTIMONIAL: “I guess billionaires drink Coors light and Banker’s Club vodka? I’m so shit-faced as I write this. Why are you guys making me write a fucking testimonial? Stop yelling at me!”
COURSE THREE: Waking up like a billionaire.
DESCRIPTION: After drinking in our desert trailer retreat, you catch some shut eye and wake up feeling like a billion bucks.
HIGHLIGHTS: After a restful sleep, you wake to our coaches’ therapeutic voices as they bring you on a soothing vision quest of enlightenment that ends in a realization of what it takes to be rich.
TESTIMONIAL: “Why doesn’t this trailer have air-conditioning? We’re in the fucking desert. The instructor is pretty clearly drunk and he keeps whispering in my ear and asking if he can borrow money.”
COURSE FOUR: The final journey to being a billionaire.
DESCRIPTION: We walk out to the desert again in a final meeting between nature, you, and your new billionaire self.
HIGHLIGHTS: You take a symbolic “sand shower” that cleanses you of your old, non-productive, and poor ways.
TESTIMONIAL: “These assholes keep throwing sand at me. What the fuck? I paid thirty grand for this?”
If you are interested in our Billionaire Training Program please contact us at email@example.com
The only business news in the universe that matters.