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Business news and advice that go beyond our galaxy.

If you hear this in a job interview, evacuate the conference room.

10/20/2018

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Picture
You’re interviewing for a job. Everything seems fine as you start spacing out when future boss people ramble on about whatever nonsense your new job will be. But their blather could be a clue about how awful your work environment will be. Tune back in for a moment and see if they utter any of these warning phrases. Then run immediately because their goal is to turn you into their sex slave.
 
PHRASE: We’re a big happy family. 
TRANSLATION: We’re into orgies.
 
PHRASE: We work hard and play hard. 
TRANSLATION: We’re into orgies. 
 
PHRASE: Do you check your email on weekends?
TRANSLATION: I’m going to send you porn as soon as “work hours” are over.
 
PHRASE: We offer a great benefits package.
TRANSLATION: The benefits of this job are my “package.”
 
PHRASE: When do you think you could start?
TRANSLATION: When do you think you could start sucking my dick?
 
PHRASE: We believe in a work-life balance.
TRANSLATION: We’re into orgies.
 
PHRASE: We take care of our employees.
TRANSLATION: By having sex with them.
 
PHRASE: I really believe in what we’re doing here.
TRANSLATION: I'm so hard right now I think I’m going to pass out because all the blood in my body is in my penis. 
 
PHRASE: We can offer you a signing bonus.
TRANSLATION: Of you sucking my dick.
 
PHRASE: We want you to come to work here. 
TRANSLATION: We are devil worshipers and you will be sacrificed. After we have sex with you.
 
PHRASE: You get three weeks vacation.
TRANSLATION: “Vacation” is sucking our dicks. And we expect you to do that for three weeks.
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  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
  • Hidden brand messages
  • Intergalactic thoughts
  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
  • Secret Report
  • The best of IBR