Job interviews are dead: here’s what will replace them.

It’s taken maybe a hundred years, but finally managers are realizing that sitting in a conference room with someone who faked his résumé and asking him where he pictures himself in ten years isn’t going to reveal to them that this guy is a on-job drunk with an embezzlement hobby. 
 
Top management experts* have revealed to the Intergalactic Business Report what will replace the traditional interview in years to come. 
 
1. Magic tricks (by both interviewers and interviewees).

2. Attempted “mind melds.”

3. Some guy just feeling you up.

4. Getting naked (to show confidence, vulnerability, and boners).

5. Medieval style physical battles.

6. Games of Twister.

7. Blood tests.

8. Séances (to get unbiased references and recommendations).

9. Uncomfortable games of Pictionary with people who may or may not become your co-workers.

10. Face slapping contests.

11. Choreography tests.

12. Anal probes.

13. Tickle torture.

14. Helping someone move.

15. Spending a night in a haunted house. 
 
*Some guy we met in a bar. And the waitress who was drinking on the job.