Shakespeareianish phrases you can start using at your business meetings today.

​If you’re a business person, you know that one of the main challenges you face is not sounding stupid when you speak. Through extensive interviews, the Intergalactic Business Report has found that most white-collar workers, from executives to assistant associate directors, struggle with saying anything they didn’t steal from an equally stupid-talking person.
 
After coming up with stuff like, “mission critical, bleeding edge,” and, “talking offline,” the business world is in a desperate search for something (anything) else. So today, we unveil new terms that have a decidedly educated and smartish flair because they sound like something people would have said five hundred years ago. Start using them today and be the next office Shakespeare. (Please note that everything MUST end in an exclamation mark, or they don't count.)
 
 
OLD OFFICE PHRASE: “Why don’t you go do some benchmarking?”
NEW, SHAKESPEARIANISH OFFICE PHRASE: “Thou dost mark the benchbottom hither with thy mark, knave!”
 
OLD OFFICE PHRASE: “Let’s try to streamline this process.”
NEW, SHAKESPEARIANISH OFFICE PHRASE: “Make haste to line thy stream for this cess of pro!”
 
OLD OFFICE PHRASE: “That’s a no-brainer.”
NEW, SHAKESPEARIANISH OFFICE PHRASE: “Thy brain is no more! Cast it aside!”
 
OLD OFFICE PHRASE: “That could be a missed opportunity.”
NEW, SHAKESPEARIANISH OFFICE PHRASE: “Thine oppor of tunity hath miss’t. A scandal upon thee!”
 
OLD OFFICE PHRASE: “We need to do this ASAP.”
NEW, SHAKESPEARIANISH OFFICE PHRASE: “Ahhsaaap! Ahhsaaap! The wheels of the clock escape us, my liege!”
 
OLD OFFICE PHRASE: “I think you’re moving the goalposts.”
NEW, SHAKESPEARIANISH OFFICE PHRASE: “Thine posts of goal hast tricked me in their motion. Ooh, foolish trickster! Me thinks me not be kicking me ball yonder through ‘em.”