Think you’re a failure and wonder why other people are more successful than you? Don’t worry. It turns out, you aren’t so different than they are. The Intergalactic Business Report reveals nine things smart, important, and rich people do that you do too.
1. They sleep at night. At some point in the evening, when they are tired, successful people fall asleep, usually in a bed. If you fall asleep in a bed at night, you are doing what most successful people do. Congratulations.
2. They use toilets to poop into and also pee into. Success sometimes needs to take a bathroom break. Unbelievably, super accomplished people will stop what they’re doing to find a toilet to take a dump in or pee into. Do you ever find a toilet and poop or pee into it? Then you’re just like them.
3. They eat food. In order to not die, most successful people will eat food and also drink water. This keeps them alive over long periods. If you’re alive because you eat food, then you’re the same way.
4. They breathe air. Instead of not breathing, which causes death, successful people take air into their lungs and then breathe it out, causing them to live. Are you alive? Maybe you’re successful too.
5. They take showers or baths. To clean the bacteria and shit off themselves, successful people are known to use baths and showers to clean themselves. Most normal people also have baths and showers and they sometimes use them. Do you shower? If so, you’re on the right track to being successful.
6. They use their mouth to talk. In order to convey thoughts or just to yell at someone for fucking up, successful people will use mouth holes in their faces to say words. You have one of these too, probably.
7. They have penises and vaginas. Take off the pants of a successful person and you will find they have penises and vaginas. Now take off your pants. Do you have a penis or vagina? Then you’re just like them.
8. They see things with their eyes. When they want to see something visually, successful people use their eyes, which allow them to look at something and tell what it is. Believe it or not, you do the same thing when you open your eyes and look at something.
9. They think thoughts. As complicated as this sounds, it just means that successful people can use their minds to consider things. Still sound complicated? Maybe only successful people do this.
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