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Business news and advice that go beyond our galaxy.

Three career-ending emails you sent without realizing it.

8/16/2021

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Email etiquette is a constant debate, even among seasoned professionals, who disagree on what salutations to use, appropriate signoffs, and generally how formal or informal you should be in an electronic communication. But did you know there are some career-ending emails you send without even realizing it?
 
As part of its educational series on how to succeed in your career, the Intergalactic Business Report reveals three emails you sent that probably got you fired: 
 
 
EMAIL ONE, SENT SATURDAY, 4:07 A.M.
 
FROM: Dirk Lansbury
TO: All faculty and staff at Trenton Elementary School
SUBJECT: EMERGENCY TURD ALERT
 
Hey motherfuckerzzzzz…… What up? It’s fucking four am and I’m still fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!! You all hozzzzzzzz. Fuck it. Fuck it. Whoops, just pooped in the cafeteria. Guess who ur gonna ask to clean that up?
 
Dirk Lansbury
Assistant Custodian
Trenton Elementary
 

EMAIL TWO, SENT WEDNESDAY, 3:03 A.M.
 
FROM: Phillip Turner
TO: All current patients
SUBJECT: Open wide
 
Hitting send to all you dumb fucks. Yeah, I’m drunk. So what? Please open your mouth super wide. Come on, do it. Is it open?
 
 Pffffffff…. That’s my farts.
 
Phillip Turner MD
Head of Proctology 
University Medical Center


EMAIL THREE, SENT MONDAY, 1:45 A.M.

 
FROM: Jacqueline Mondorf
TO: Brent Tuttles
SUBJECT: I just burned down your house
 
Hey Brent!
 
Hope ur vacation is going good. Everyone back at the office feels like it’s vacation for them too cause ur sorry ass isn’t here to boss them all around. Drinkin all day and smoking dope. Am I breakin the rulzzzz? Sorry. 
 
Also, I just burnt down ur house, motherfucker. 
 
Jackie Mondorf
Administrative Assistant
Tuttles Enterprises
IBR MERCH
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  • Home
  • About
  • Business
  • Culture
  • Insights
  • Best and worst
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  • Mommy's Drunk again
  • Up for grabs
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  • The best of IBR