URGENT REQUEST: Never EVER write email subject lines like this!

Whether your email is cold or hot, your subject line alerts the reader immediately to your purpose. But did you know that a bad subject line can also immediately turn readers off and cause them to toss your important message in the trash?
 
Using proprietary neuro-linguistic technology, the Intergalactic Business Report tells you which common subject lines you need to avoid today. Never, ever, write:
 
 
SUBJECT: PLEEZE OPEN DIS EMAIL. IT SAFE.
 
SUBJECT: Checking in. And free penis pics.
 
SUBJECT: Follow up on your request to have your computer filled with viruses. 
 
SUBJECT: You open email, yes? You do it now? 
 
SUBJECT: Special message from Nigerian Prince banking.
 
SUBJECT: You trust me, yes? You open da email please? 
 
SUBJECT: Spread your buttcheeks and let this email enter you.
 
SUBJECT: Click to buy bitcoin direct from the Russian mafia. NOT A JOKE. 
 
SUBJECT: Follow link to choose new career as a model/hostess in an Asian brothel. 
 
SUBJECT: Pffffftttttttttttttttttttttt. (Fart).
 
SUBJECT: Human turd requests your loyalty.
 
SUBJECT: Read email to confirm curse from 18th century demonic twins Patty and Harriet Thistlewaite.
 
SUBJECT: My balls sent this email. Click to see how. 

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